Early Easter at church as far as the bunny goes

This is the girls at church this past Sunday they had a Easter egg hunt and got to take a picture with the Easter bunny it was cute ............ next Sunday is their Easter service with the ultimate giveaway ............ sure to be lots of fun and very informative

In memory of Hopsing

Our beautiful cat Hopsing was killed today and we had to have her put to sleep she now rest in jesus's arms and is in no more pain ............We loved you Hopsing we will miss you and we are sorry that you left us and wished you were here with us but we are happy that you got to run and play and live a better life than what you would have lived instead of in that shelter love you and see you in heaven ........................................................................................................

rant and blessed

Today was okay I am bored and wishing things would work out better for me even if just a little my car I just bought got keyed by someone at our apartments because they had nothing better to do ............. More b.s. to deal with cannot wait to start to get all my baby stuff together so I can feel a little more comfortable and not worry so much anyways have a great day and Happy V day to all . My hubby got me a potted plant and a stuffed rose and some candy it was really sweet.............

1-25-2010 My Day

Well pick out a name for the new baby and I love it anyways found out today that I screwed up my back somehow and that I have to be on some strong med and also will be starting physical therapy soon to help out and my ankle still is messed up from the fall I had in June of last year cannot wait to get that all worked out. Anyways Jimmy lost 4 pounds in two weeks it is not a lot but it is a start . Hopefully after the baby we can both lose some weight anyways blog you later ................

Pissed Off cannot beleive I messed up the app for an apartment guess I will have to try again later anyways haing one of those days

Its A Girl

Well went for my appt and everything went really well and we found out we are having another girl and we are happy just were hoping for a boy but just happy and blessed to be having a healthy baby anyways go back in Feb to the specialist because I am not that far along only 18 wks and they want to double check things . All should be well ........ Tomorrow is Carlie's 9th birthday she will be 9 I cannot believe it just does not seem that she is that old but she is growing up so fast and already acts like the teenager she is becoming in for some eye rolling and smart mouth ...................

I will

I will have faith and hope for all I know everything is fine and the baby is fine so I will try to think about the things that I cannot change or control. I will pray for the best and I know that I will not be given more than I can handle with god's strength and love and I will try not to dwell on this for soon I will know and I will deal with whatever comes ..................

Christmas Time

Christmas Time for me is really hectic even though all the gifts are done and such I have to see the in laws and spends a couple days there with them this year will be fun because we will have no T.V. to help and no computer and well no oven or stove top to cook on desert will be fruit salad and the ham will be cook on the bar-b-Que ? That is kind of different and I am preggo and my emotions are all over the map and then we have no working car so we can not escape anywhere we will be stuck I am just praying everyone will be in good spirits and that no fights or screaming matches take place and that we enjoy the seasons but they say it is not Christmas without family ......

Christmas to me is suppose to be about Jesus and his birth and the sacrifices he makes my children know that there is no Santa and that Jesus provides all the gifts and that Santa is Jesus in our family a Divine being God that helps us afford and provides us with the means in which our Christmas is done I think that is important that they know that he gives them the gifts because he allows us to receive the funds to buy them then we explain to them that he gave his life for us and that Christmas is about his birth and celebrating his birth and the sacrifices he did for all of us

Have a merry christmas God bless

Preggo and My emotions

Well between the red swelled areas on my tummy from sticking myself for meds all day and the dizziness I feel like crap but I still feel blessed to be able to be preggo and cannot wait to be a mom again . All my worst fears are in my dreams lately losing the baby and or losing my husband to illness or dying myself . I know that it is counterproductive to feel and think this way but these are some of my worst fears I know I could deal with them if I had to but I hope that I will not have to deal with it and anyways every preggo woman at least me has nightmares about what could go wrong I also dream of what could go right having a son or daughter and holding the baby in my arms and feeling relief and wonder all over again and feeling blessed and all the love you feel . I just know that I am blessed and lucky for all that I have and considering what I have gone through in the past and who I was because of some of those things I feel lucky and blessed for all god has given me and that I have changed from the immature child to the woman and mother I am and I feel lucky that I am not passing along the bad things of my childhood. This dog is no longer our it was adopted . But Look at my lovely girls .

doctors, doctors

I hate how sometimes when you go to get your medications from your doctors the nurse decides they have to chime in their personal thoughts now I have to drag my hubby into the doctor's next month because some nurse could not keep her trap shut great that will be a lovely discussion with him beacuse jimmy hates going into see the doctors he just wants his pills and to be left alone can you blame him he has to take these pills for the rest of his life should he have to listen to the b.s. all the time we get it we need to change somethings but guess what you cannot force it and if you try it will only make it worse my vent for thr day

Today has been long and its only about three in the afternoon . The girls are driving me nuts thank god for school tomorrow. Just kidding they just been nagging me all day. My stomach has been sour lately and I have tried crackers but it is not helping . Oh well I really want to move but I think it will be a long time before we can we have to come up with the deposit and first months rent and all the transfer fees so saving is gonna have to be our middle names but cannot start that until after Christmas because well its Christmas and we have alot of people to buy for . I know that everything will work out for the best and we will find a place when and if we are meant to its just the wait that is driving me crazy .

living , loving and stressing

I am who I am love me or despise me . I have to the thought that it takes to much time and effort to please everyone . From this day forward my life is about me and mine and anyone else is welcome but I will love and live the way I do beleive what I beleive and do what I do . I am pregos now and if people don't like it oh well I wanted this baby so check the stuff at the door everyone who is happy with me then we are good this was not written for anyone it was written for me to destress so noone take it personally.

I am prego

I found out that I am prego I am so excited I have been trying to have another child for over two years my hubby has diabetes so I didn't think that it would happen, then on top of it I am overweight and I have high blood pressure. I know it is all in gods hands and I am so happy but in extreme shock .Our love made another baby

feeling like a truck ran me over

Feel sick yet again so bad the girls had a sleep over last night having an okay day I want to go back to sleep but I know if I do that means that I will sleep a whole lot . My biggest fear is being a failure in lofe as a mom , wife christan and all around human being I don't feel good enough at all what have I really accomplished so far if I died tonight would I look back and think I did it right honestly no I would not I want and need to do better just don't know where to start . I have my kids and my hubby and family is important but who am I . I feel like I jump to conclusions to fast and sometimes I am too nice to people who deserve little or no respect from me . I want to do more be more and set an good example to my kids I know they know about Jesus to a point but I feel like I am slowly slipping away from what used to be me where did I go was I ever really there or have always just slided into a part to play to protect myself sometimes I get scared because in some parts I know this to be true endless ramblings of a confused but content woman .

An Awesome Day

Got me a dog and the breed I wanted this was a wonderful day yay.

Now if we can get into a nicer apartment. she is so cute .

Went out the other night had a good time

All is well god blesses me everyday and I am trying to stay on the narrow path . I have wishes and dreams but for now they seem so far out of reach. What to do ? Well I have considered finishing high school through ace christain school and then maybe a tech. school like nursing or the people who take people's blood or a lab tech or pharm tech I want more pray for me and mine and that my life will mean more . What do you say to a person who feels like they are just passing time until they are called to heaven he loves me but I want to be my own and do more for myself and I am taking the reigns for myself before I wilt and become mad and resentful I refuse to become my mom or my dad I will be damned first . Sorry just my thoughts I love my husband and I know he loves me and that things will get better and that I mean something to alot of people but I want to mean something and have great thoughts of myself .

love that last forever

I have realized that even without a dime in our pockets we my family and I can have fun for special moments in our lives like on the 7th of July it was our 9th wedding anniversary . My hubby cooked me a great steak and we had a fabulous meal and watched some comedy shows on netflix and laughed and laughed . I know that no matter what comes our way we have each other and god who comes first and the children in our lives that depend on us and thrive because we love them so . They may not always like me but they know I love them more than anything besides my master god . Well all is well here and my kids are coming for a visit hopefully on Friday for about a week or two then back to grandmothers for a few days school starts August 26 and we have alot to do before we are ready

Can't stand it

My car needs new tires that will be very expensive at least 100.00 then this month is our 9th wedding anniversary and we are pretty much broke yay . I did get to buy the girl's bunk beds though and they are very pretty and that makes me happy. I bought school supplies already and I just need backpacks and new school uniforms my money is almost tapped out and all I can think of is aahhhhhhhhh and that I know everything will work out because god will see to what is best but boy sometimes I get stressed .

summer time

Well the girls have been gone for a couple of days but they will return on the 18th . I really have missed them they will be going again with their grandparents but not for a little while . Hopefully god willing our car will get here or the other one will get fixed eight er way we need a car. Its been pretty boring here took the bus the other day to see a movie star trek I didn't get to see much I spent most of my time in the lady's room getting sick and then re hurt my ankle on the way home. But that is what has been going on .

Moving on

Moving on to better things, Tomorrow the girls have their last kickball game of the season . Grandmother and Grandad are planning on coming down sometime in the next couple of weeks to see the girls. They plan on taking them for a couple of days maybe more we will see. Elaine retired as of June today actually. She was so happy not to have to go to work anymore and be able to be free to spend more time with Danny and going where they want. The girls passed to 2ND grade I am so proud they made a honor roll that is so good . This year was so much better that last year. I have had my ups and downs but in the end I am okay. I have my family and my friends and god and things that matter to me. Things are going good even though our car broke we are not panicked we know that god has a plan and that everything will work itself out. I need for nothing and the things I want I get unless its not meant to be so I am happy and content in life and that is all I can and will ask for . God Bless