I will

I will have faith and hope for all I know everything is fine and the baby is fine so I will try to think about the things that I cannot change or control. I will pray for the best and I know that I will not be given more than I can handle with god's strength and love and I will try not to dwell on this for soon I will know and I will deal with whatever comes ..................

Christmas Time

Christmas Time for me is really hectic even though all the gifts are done and such I have to see the in laws and spends a couple days there with them this year will be fun because we will have no T.V. to help and no computer and well no oven or stove top to cook on desert will be fruit salad and the ham will be cook on the bar-b-Que ? That is kind of different and I am preggo and my emotions are all over the map and then we have no working car so we can not escape anywhere we will be stuck I am just praying everyone will be in good spirits and that no fights or screaming matches take place and that we enjoy the seasons but they say it is not Christmas without family ......

Christmas to me is suppose to be about Jesus and his birth and the sacrifices he makes my children know that there is no Santa and that Jesus provides all the gifts and that Santa is Jesus in our family a Divine being God that helps us afford and provides us with the means in which our Christmas is done I think that is important that they know that he gives them the gifts because he allows us to receive the funds to buy them then we explain to them that he gave his life for us and that Christmas is about his birth and celebrating his birth and the sacrifices he did for all of us

Have a merry christmas God bless

Preggo and My emotions

Well between the red swelled areas on my tummy from sticking myself for meds all day and the dizziness I feel like crap but I still feel blessed to be able to be preggo and cannot wait to be a mom again . All my worst fears are in my dreams lately losing the baby and or losing my husband to illness or dying myself . I know that it is counterproductive to feel and think this way but these are some of my worst fears I know I could deal with them if I had to but I hope that I will not have to deal with it and anyways every preggo woman at least me has nightmares about what could go wrong I also dream of what could go right having a son or daughter and holding the baby in my arms and feeling relief and wonder all over again and feeling blessed and all the love you feel . I just know that I am blessed and lucky for all that I have and considering what I have gone through in the past and who I was because of some of those things I feel lucky and blessed for all god has given me and that I have changed from the immature child to the woman and mother I am and I feel lucky that I am not passing along the bad things of my childhood. This dog is no longer our it was adopted . But Look at my lovely girls .